Don't fuck with my heart, assholes.

Sitting here, wide awake. Why do I always put myself in this position? Are the words lingering through my mind. Was everything a really big misconception? Is it that hard too call somebody my baby? Why does this always happen to me? Can I at least get what I want for once in my life? So many unanswered questions. This sucks. I would never have thought I would be put in this situation of mine. Been played. Been lead on. Been there, done that. This fucking sucks. It's fucking up my system. Twice in the past 2 months. REALLY?! Are you fucking kidding me? I don't want somebody because of pity. I want somebody who wants me for being me. Someone who accepts who I am & go through all the shit I will go through in the future. My heart is all damaged. "Wait out for that person to come to you" Fuck that shit. I know what I want. I'd rather go chase after someone than live in the "What if" life. I got too fucking caught up. Insomnia kicked in & now I can't fucking sleep. Funny thing about it, I didn't even get a chance.